In case there is a war between the USA and China, the sizable Anglo contingent of rhizzone posters (who I represent) immediately offer our full and unconditional surrender. We have some conditions however that we would like you to meet. 1. We want to all receive commemorative medals that declare us the first enemy non-combatants to lay down our primitive arms and crawl like bugs toward Chinese mercy. They could say rhizzone.net on one side and "First Losers!" on the other. 2. We demand refugee status in China. We request that Chinese people humor us as a cute oddity. 3. We request meaningful work that, while beneficial to the nation of China, is still satisfying to adults with undiagnosed ADHD, such as sorting Magic or Pokémon cards, spackling pinholes in drywall, or renaming thousands of mp3s. 4. We would like a definitive answer to the question of whether China is communist or not. You do not have to make a public announcement but we would personally like to be told. 5. We agree to be punished in Chinese prison for bourgeois decadence for 6 months. Respectfully we request that prison involve a lot of singing and mopping in unison, no torture, and free access to less-violent videogames like Pikmin or Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay. 6. Respectfully, we request the phone number of a dependable dealer who can get us ounces of mids in the $150 range. 7. We will bring with us considerable information on the internal workings of the US culture machine. For example, pick any movie on HBO plus, and I can quickly come up with a 400 word explainer article on why the movie is harmful and disrespectful, which your airplanes can then litter onto our neighborhoods in pamphlet form. Many of us have read enough Dave McGowan articles and watched enough Alex Jones clips to be able to speak the QAnon dialect, and we would be proud to accompany your military police from suburb to suburb defusing standoffs via bullhorn. 8. We humbly and respectfully request that if you are exterminating millions of Uighur people - and I am not saying that you are - I am saying IF you are doing that - in fact, I doubt that you are, because it would be so out of character for you - so I am just asking - if I didn't ask, so many people would get on my case about why I didn't ask this - so I have to ask - IF you happen to be killing millions of people because they are Uighur, or Falun Gong for that matter, or if you are killing millions of other people that we don't even know about - could you please stop? And I am sorry, but again I had to ask that, so now we have that out of the way 9. I do not speak Chinese. It seems like a very hard language to learn. It would be helpful if I could please get a supply of dry erase markers and a little board so I can draw pictures of whatever Chinese snacks I discover I like so I can still go use the Chinese bodega, even if I will never be able to meaningfully interact with my many new acquaintances and neighbors, wherever you decide to place me. 10. Please make sure and splatter the American dude who pushed me backward over his kneeled down friend at the 7th grade dance that I DJ'ed to resounding disapproval. Make his legs fly off and his top half sails away like a loose balloon in a strong wind and lands on a pizza hut. Thank you China! I'm sure that my fellow posters will have their own requests and offerings to add below.
Sinceierly,
swampman
swampman posted:spackling pinholes in drywall, or renaming thousands of mp3s
how to disable webcam. Hhow to stop spying online
cars posted:Chronicles of Riddick: Escape from Butcher Bay is a particularly violent video game. I'm finding more and more flaws in your post terry.
The things I have done in Pikmin make the Asiatic Vespers look like "Fatman Eats a Pizza and Drinks Reglur Soda in HD part 1." I said less-violent. I also didn't know that one is now a large enough number to be classified as "more and more." I suppose that haters will use any means available to hate, even the grammatically perverse.
Populares posted:Can tetris be added to the list of games we can play?
We can ask about this but I caution you not to let your requests get carried away into the realm of the fantastical, even as a negotiating tactic.
swampman posted:The things I have done in Pikmin make the Asiatic Vespers look like "Fatman Eats a Pizza and Drinks Reglur Soda in HD part 1." I said less-violent. I also didn't know that one is now a large enough number to be classified as "more and more." I suppose that haters will use any means available to hate, even the grammatically perverse.
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
Edited by 88888 ()
88888 posted:Attn China, I wrote you but still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager, and my home phone at the bottom
I would like to volunteer to be the steamed bun taster for the rhizzone regiment / prisoners committee. I think steamed buns have helped me understand the Chinese cultural richness more than any other rhizzone poster and it would be my honour to perform this valiant sacrifice of being the taster of any/all steamed buns which may be made available to our group. I would also like some books, and communism. Thank you, dr cat (“猫博士”)
tears posted:anyone know if china's read this?
sounds like someone hasn't received their commemorative medals in the mail yet
Edited by solidar ()
solidar posted:did you actually get some? I really want some. seen the news fearmongering about how they are dangerous and might be an invasive species (lmao - the great communist plot to destroy american grass lawns with kudzu) but i'd start any type of seeds inside anyways and am pretty curious what is actually being sent
no.. . not yet!!
just seen photos folks been sharing w the local news